I talk to a lot of people in stressful situations. I listen while they share about what they’re facing, what they and others are currently doing, and what they hope for. Ultimately I try to help them see the situation clearly and identify the behaviors that are hurting or helping the situation.

I think of behaviors as “weights” (things that drag them down and keep them in the mess) and “wings” (things that lift them up and move the situation forward).

We try to sort through it all and try to exchange the weights for wings. It might be something as simple as learning to speak clearly about what they want instead of hinting. Or it might be something serious like owning that their anger is getting out of control and they need to see a counselor.

It’s also about encouraging the good they are doing. Maybe they spoke up instead of just going along or they asked for help when they need it.

Life is tough business some days and marriage is life doubled in a shared house.

Invite your husband to talk about the weights and wings that show up at your house. What keeps you in unhealthy attitudes and actions? What brings life and laughter to your relationship? Where would you like to see change? What help do you need?

Sometimes seeing a behavior as a weight makes it easier to deal with. When you know something is a wing, you want to make more of it.

When the stormy winds of life threaten to knock you down, may you have the courage to spread your wings and fly! Lance Wubbels

• Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you and your husband major on your strengths and deal with your struggles.
• His Dearly Loved Daughter: What Does the Bible Say About Accountability? Hold yourself accountable with these five steps.
• Life of Joy: Don’t Let Opposition Rob Intimacy Be willing to set it down for a while.
• The Week in Review: Have you …
         … prayed for the marriages of generous wives everywhere?
         … faced and dealt with those things that are hurting your marriage?
         … considered what is most important in your marriage?
         … worked to make his wishes come true?
         … done prep to make chores easier for you and your sweetie?
         … made your husband and marriage strong priorities?
         … identified those things that are weights or wings at your house?

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