On Sunday I was listening to my pastor preach (streaming video). At one point he said something that I wished a struggling friend of mine had heard.

Have you ever thought something like that? “Oh, I wish my friend (or hubby or sister) had heard that! They need to hear that to fix (whatever problem in their life).”

Argh! I really try not to go there. It’s not my job to fix others and God is in charge of everyone’s journey, not me.

So I apologized to God and asked Him how the thought might apply to me since I was the one hearing the sermon.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t help and encourage others, even gently point out when their behavior is causing harm (Galatians 6:1). I just think it’s important to deal with your own stuff because, truthfully, you are the only one who can.

Yes, it’s OK to acknowledge that your husband is messy, but do deal with your own messiness (however small). Yes, it’s OK to acknowledge your neighbor’s rudeness, but how is your speech? Are you kind and thoughtful? Yes, it’s OK to see the general condition of the world around you, but you still need to face and deal with your own stinginess, dishonesty, or fears.

Don’t let another’s bad behavior distract you from your own personal work. Don’t let it become an excuse or something to compare yourself with (I’m not nearly as mean as my brother!).

Deal with your stuff … because you are the only one who can.

There’s only one person you can change: yourself. Harry Hoover

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