I was sitting in a booth at a restaurant when a couple came in and sat nearby. The waitress wandered over to them and the woman said in conversation, “I’m not a high maintenance customer.” She then proceeded to be (you guessed it) a very high maintenance customer.

How does someone get to the place where they believe something so at odds with reality? A part of it, I am sure, is that we tend to speak what we want to be true.

I’ve mulled over this conversation quite a few times since then and I’ve decided I need the occasional reality check by observing what I do (yes, words are important, but what we do tends to be a truer expression of ourselves). Do my actions truly express respect, love, or generosity? Where I find a gap between what I believe about myself and what I’m truly doing, what do I need to do to reduce the gap?

Take a few days and observe your behavior. How do you spend your time? How do you treat others (especially your man)? Don’t panic if your reality is bumped a bit. Stay calm, talk to God about it, and ask Him to help you become more like the woman you want to be.

You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. Carl Jung

• Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you act well out your values.
• The Generous Husband: Do You Even Want the Prize? Don’t play those games.
• Gary Thomas: A Lifelong Journey Toward a Cherishing Marriage Let “cherish” be your guiding word.

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