How I feel impacts how I interpret my husband’s words and actions.

When I’m having a “good day” I easily overlook small inconveniences (he totally gets the benefit of the doubt). When I’m having a “bad day” everything is hurtful and those small inconveniences are mountain-sized.

I wish that weren’t true, but it’s a reality I deal with. I have to consider my general condition when I get upset with him (or anyone else for that matter). I’m not going to say it’s all me, but I factor into it and it’s important to sort it out without letting my angst run away with me.

I have learned over the years to grab a quiet spot and take the time to deal with my thoughts and feelings first. If it turns out his words or actions are something I can overlook, fine. (We share a home. Stuff will happen.) If it’s something more significant, I give myself time to cool off and figure out how I’m going to address it kindly and respectfully.

My point in all this is that how we feel colors life. When the colors turn dark, take the time to cool off and think it through before you speak or act. We all mess up in life and marriage. When you approach your spouse kindly and respectfully, it’s a whole lot easier to talk it through together and work toward a solution.

Talk to your spouse more sweetly and respectfully than you talk to anyone else. Focus on the Family

• Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you take time to settle your thoughts and feelings when you need to.
• The XY Code: Worse Than Broken Bones Build the reputation for approaching problems kindly and be heard.
• Becoming Minimalist: 7 Daily Habits to Change Your Life The direction of our lives is decided by our daily choices.

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