The other day I witnessed one person “telling” another person who they were, what they were about, and what they should do about their “problem.” It was uninvited and pretty awful. Aside from the fact they got it terribly wrong, it was not their job and it was very disrespectful.

Now, honestly, I’m as tempted as anyone to do this. It’s “easy” to look at someone else, watch a bit, and think I know what they’re about. But even if I get it right, is it really my place? Why would I think it was reasonable to tell another person what they are about? What is the motivation?

My point is that it is far kinder and more respectful to invite people to share what they are thinking, feeling, and doing. They are the expert on themselves (they’ve been living with themselves all their life) and it is their job to reveal about themselves what we cannot see or know first hand.

If someone invites my thoughts or opinion, I’m very careful to couch it as an opinion based on the limited information of what I have seen or heard.

Listen to your words over the next few days. If you find yourself telling your husband something about himself, pause (apologize if you need to), and invite him to share instead.

I don’t speak for others and they don’t speak for me. Arthur Conan Doyle

• Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you invite conversation to know your sweetie better.
• A Wife Like Me: United in Thought and Purpose Very interesting article about unity and teamwork.
• Shaunti Feldhahn: Help Make Your Marriage Great By Being Grateful For Your Spouse Happy couples overflow with praise for each other. (As an aside, do pause a moment and pray for Shaunti as she goes through treatment for breast cancer.)

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