The Generous Wife
a daily reminder to grow your marriage
Your Brain is a War Zone
Ever had one of those days where your mind is crowded by negative thoughts about your husband? “Geesh, he could of at least put his coffee cup in the sink.” “He’s driving me nuts!” “He doesn’t do [whatever] like he used to.” “He’s so selfish.” And on and on, thoughts rolling around in your head (sometimes gaining momentum).
And, you know, maybe he did wake up on the wrong side of the bed or he’s having a moment of humanity.
However, my point is that our thought life (that eventually plays out in our words and actions) can make a situation better or worse. Mulling over the negative can color how we see our spouse and make it harder to resolve any issues.
Will you entertain negative thoughts or bring your concerns to God? Will you make room for condemnation and criticism or will you offer grace and consider solutions?
What will win out on the battlefield of your mind?
Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart]. Philippians 4:8 AMP
- Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you replace cranky thoughts with wholesome peaceable thoughts.
- A Wife Like Me: Embracing the Unknown It’s an attitude thing.
- Seth’s Blog: The confusion about “sorry” It can communicate so many different things.
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4 responses to “Your Brain is a War Zone”
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“having a moment of humanity…”
You put me in mind of a quote by the late troubadour Gamble Rogers: “Never blame a man for being human unless he makes a habit of it.”
No idea why you made me think of that quote…
I like that. We slip and fall, but we can repent and ask God to help us grow and change (and not make a habit of it).
If I get grumpy like this it is because I am feeling overwhelmed and need help and rest. But, I also get snippy because kindly spoken, reasonable requests for help often get met with resistance and negativity. It’s like breaking your leg on a mountain climb and your hiking partners refuse to carry you out, or complain the whole time what a burden your are that you broke your leg.
But, if I get angry, people listen. My family gets nice and sweet and helpful. Why don’t they listen to kind requests but jump when my inner bomb goes off?
People fear anger. It motivates them to do whatever it takes to stop the anger. It’s also something that many people are trained to do by family culture.
For me, as a part of “being generous,” I have to do what is right (speak kindly, ask for what I want respectfully) regardless of how they respond, even if I don’t get the response or help I need. As a natural consequence of not getting the help I need, they may not get from me what they want because I don’t have the time, energy, or ability. (This isn’t about punishing them for not being helpful, it’s just that you only have so much ability and energy to function in your day.)
I figure that’s on them and perhaps they will learn that the lack of ability to help them comes because of a deficit in my life (which they could help with if they chose to).