The Generous Wife

I just spent the last couple of days on a jury, so I’m hugely behind on life. Today you get something from the archive (so I can play catch up) and over the next few days, I’ll be sharing marriage lessons I learned from the jury box. :)

(Originally posted on July 28, 2015.)

When I don’t understand my husband I ask him to repeat what he said. If I still don’t understand, I ask him to use other words or use a word picture.

Even though we both speak English, we speak our own version of English, colored by our gender, life experience, and more. The hard part is not taking offense when you are not understood. It helps when you both take into consideration your language differences.

Never assume that your language is identical to your husbands. Listen well. Ask questions if you need to. Be willing to use other words or word pictures.

Communication works for those who work at it. John Powell

♥ #PrayerPrompt: Ask God to help you and your husband stay patient when communicating.

♥ Gary Thomas: One of the Most Miserable Marriages Imaginable Take a page from Proverbs.

♥ Awaken-Love: Specific Prayer that Moves You Toward Healing ‘Cause we’ve all been bruised by life.

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(Originally posted on July 12, 2016.)

Years ago I had a friend that would tell me what I was thinking and why. She assumed she knew my thoughts and motives. Even when she got it right, it was still hurtful, because it’s my job to share what I think and feel, not hers.

Over the years, I realized I was guilty of the same thing with my husband. I may not have verbalized it, but I thought I knew what he was thinking and that I understood his motives. Chances are I got at least some of it wrong and it messed up a number of our conversations. I’m pretty sure it hurt our relationship.

A sign of maturity is inviting others to reveal their thoughts and motives, instead of telling them what they think and why. It’s respectful and you avoid many a misunderstanding.

Learn from my mistake. If you don’t understand why your spouse is doing (or not doing) something, nicely ask him why.

Before you “assume,” try this crazy method called “asking.” Author Unknown

♥ #PrayerPrompt: Ask God to help you remember to invite your husband to intimacy instead of assuming you know what’s going on between his ears.

♥ Equipping Godly Women: How to Invest in Friendship when Life is Busy We’re happier and healthier when we have friends.

♥ The Not So Excellent Wife: 3 Tactics That Never Work When Trying to Fix Your Man The more demands you make, the harder he’ll resist.

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We’re Donation Supported

Pay attention to what your husband does and give him encouraging feedback.  No, I didn’t say lie.  I’m suggesting that you honestly look at what he is doing and look for the good.  The not-so-good is easy to see and you can share that too (gracefully), but major on the positives and let him know how much you admire what he is doing, his effort and whatever else that seems admirable.  We all need a little encouragement and appreciation.

Be generous!  Lori <><