The Generous Wife

How did your kindness experiment go yesterday? What did you learn?

Was there anything that made it more difficult to be kind?

Early in my marriage when I started practicing generosity, I was fearful that I would do all this good stuff and wind up exhausted and empty. Turns out, generosity is a dynamic of God’s kingdom and you can’t out-generous God. 🙂 The more I leaned into generosity, the more I experienced His goodness toward me.

Well, generosity and kindness are kissin’ cousins. So the same applies. 🙂 I just need to remind myself of that on occasion.

Chronic busyness is something I watch out for. I have to have a certain level of energy to be kind. I also tend to be rather focused, so I lose sight of people when I’m working. For me, this is about choosing a sane work level and having work hours.

And there are times when my kindness is based more on how my sweetie treats me (which is totally understandable and human), but I need to be kind because that’s the sort of person I want to be, my personal choice of behavior.

What kind of choices do you need to make to make kindness easier for you?

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Starting to get a handle on kindness?

Where have you been kind to your spouse? Are you still doing that? Do you need to start again? Is there something that feels hurtful to your spouse? How can you change what you do or say to make it kinder?

Is there something small you could try today that would be truly kind? Perhaps something as simple as saying “Thank you.” or giving your sweetie a hug when you pass in the hallway.

Are there times when your spouse has responded particularly well to something you said or did? Is that something that could be repeated?

Use today to experiment with small acts of kindness and learn from how you do and how your spouse responds. (If you would, please comment here to help the rest of us explore new ideas.)

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As you consider kindness toward your spouse today, begin to look at your own words and actions over the last few days or weeks.

• Were you considerate of your spouse first thing in the morning?
• Did you said “Thank you”?
• Were you helpful (did you get them a cup of coffee or run an errand for them)?
• Did you smile at your sweetie or give them a hug?

Let God speak to you about your current state of kindness.

• Where is it easy for you to be kind?
• Where do you struggle?

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Hi, ya’ll. I’m starting the new blog over on DoingMarriageWell.com. I’ll be posting the first week here so you can see what it’s about. I hope you enjoy the new focus and style. 🙂

This week’s concept revolves around kindness.

Love is … kind.  1 Corinthians ESV

Simple enough, but do we really know what kindness is? Dictionary.com helps a bit. As does Thesaurus.com

definition: of a good or benevolent nature or disposition

synonyms: kindhearted, gracious, considerate, thoughtful

As you consider this, try to focus on just the meaning (tomorrow we’ll begin some introspection). Soak in the word “kindness” and what it means. Let God reveal His thoughts about it.  Perhaps you’ll remember a time when someone what kind to you and what that meant.

When my grandson started school there was a misunderstanding and he wound up on his first day without a lunch. New school, new situations. When a friend of mine heard, she went home and packed him a lunch, stopped in to have lunch with her kids (a very normal thing), and invited my grandson to join them. He didn’t have to share his problem with anyone (and look odd or stupid on his first day of school), she fixed his problem (a relief in a new situation), and she invited him to belong – now that was kind!

And, of course, there are many examples of kindness in the stories of the Bible (my favorite is the story of Joseph) especially in Jesus’ actions (I love where he touches the lepers when he heals them, they had to be totally touch hungry, living a life of shame and isolation).

Well, there you have it. Simple and sweet. Park “kindness” in your mind today and spend time with it during your day.

As an aside, I encourage y’all to grab a notebook and write down your thoughts throughout the week. It helps when thinking things through and it’s nice to have all your thoughts collected in one place.

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As I was going through my hiatus break, I kept feeling that my days at The Generous Wife were over. It was startling. I’ve been writing since 2001 and I figured I’d keep writing until I woke up hugging Jesus.

Well, as I kept praying, I felt a newer message push forward. I’m still all about growing your marriage, but I want the emphasis to be about integrity and doing what will build your marriage.

So …

I’ve set up a new blog called Doing Marriage Well. It’s a daily blog that focuses on a marriage skill for a whole week at a time. I’ll toss in a few stories, lots of questions, and a good resource or two each week.

I will post the first week of my new blog here as well, so you can see if it’s something you would like to follow. I would love to see you there. :)

I want to thank you all for being such a lovely supportive group of women over the years and I pray that you will continue to find those resources that will challenge and encourage you to grow your marriage.

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy,  … And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Phillipians 1:3-4, 6 ESV

• Prayer Prompt: Thank God for all the lovely generous wives everywhere.

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